Figure skating seems to take up most of my "free" time and money these days! She is 8 years old and she is on the ice four days a week. About a month ago, we had a serious "mother to daughter" skating talk... How much do you want this? And it wasn't about quitting, but rather: "... if you only want to do this for fun, that is okay, but it means that you only skate 2 days a week, no extra ice, no extra private ice time for extra lessons. You only do two competitions a year, and none of those are off the Island, and you only do one test session a year (not three!), and no summer skating..."
Her response? "No no no Mummy! I want to skate, I want to go competitive, and I want the extra ice times, and extra lessons."
Okay: but that means, no nagging from me about getting up at 6am, no whining when I say it is a skating day and therefore no play date.
And she has kept up her end of the bargain.
So here we are a month later, getting ready for another skating competition, less than a week away. And the mother is so nervous. But I don't share that with her. She doesn't get nervous, or doesn't appear to. She worries about what I will think, so I have told her that it isn't about what I think. She likes to win, but she doesn't worry about what the other kids do. And I told her, what she does on the ice is between her and her coach. It is what goes on off the ice that I am in charge of and she needs to remember that I am the "off ice partner"... The one who looks after what she eats, what she does and who she does it with. I make sure the homework gets done, the chores get done, and that the off ice activity happens: a little bit of running, a little bit of bike riding, some stretching, some dance and some off ice practice (jumping, core work and the off ice solo practice). I mostly let the "off ice" bike riding and running come from being a kid, and so far she is good at that.
That is where it gets tricky... As a parent, you want them to stay little as long as possible, but they want to compete. So, the rule in our house has become, as long as it is fun and you are enjoying the "work" part of it, then we continue. But if it becomes a chore, then we re examine. And start again!
Her response? "No no no Mummy! I want to skate, I want to go competitive, and I want the extra ice times, and extra lessons."
Okay: but that means, no nagging from me about getting up at 6am, no whining when I say it is a skating day and therefore no play date.
And she has kept up her end of the bargain.
So here we are a month later, getting ready for another skating competition, less than a week away. And the mother is so nervous. But I don't share that with her. She doesn't get nervous, or doesn't appear to. She worries about what I will think, so I have told her that it isn't about what I think. She likes to win, but she doesn't worry about what the other kids do. And I told her, what she does on the ice is between her and her coach. It is what goes on off the ice that I am in charge of and she needs to remember that I am the "off ice partner"... The one who looks after what she eats, what she does and who she does it with. I make sure the homework gets done, the chores get done, and that the off ice activity happens: a little bit of running, a little bit of bike riding, some stretching, some dance and some off ice practice (jumping, core work and the off ice solo practice). I mostly let the "off ice" bike riding and running come from being a kid, and so far she is good at that.
That is where it gets tricky... As a parent, you want them to stay little as long as possible, but they want to compete. So, the rule in our house has become, as long as it is fun and you are enjoying the "work" part of it, then we continue. But if it becomes a chore, then we re examine. And start again!
sounds like my years with my daughter and competition dancing, she ice skated for a while but dancing made her give it up--great post!
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing when i was little. ice skating was so much fun. i dont remember if i did compititions but i could do lots of spins and stuff.
ReplyDeleteHi Kim, first time visitor and great to meet you! I wasn't very good at skating except for in a straight line. I do like to watch the professionals on TV though.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great philosophy on lessons and parenting! Good luck on the rest of A to Z!
ReplyDeleteYep. They are all like that.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from A/Z; I see you are a bit behind on it; hope all is well with you and yours; I bet it is a very big commitment for you and your daughter as well as the whole family with her desire to skate; wishing her luck with it over the years!! good luck with the rest of the challenge if you continue it!
ReplyDeletebetty
Thank you for sharing this wonderful thing
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